If your relationship isn’t experiencing difficulties right now, you may wonder why in the world you’d go to couples therapy. After all, isn’t that only for the tough times?
Chances are couples therapy isn’t even on your radar if things are going well. But before you dismiss the idea, take the time to learn about why couples therapy is effective and important during the happy times.
Building a Solid Foundation
Even if you went through premarital counseling, it could have been some time ago. Seeking couples counseling during happy times is somewhat like seeking premarital counseling before your big day.
In both cases, couples counseling can help you set your relationship up for success. It gives you the chance to touch base, clear up small disagreements or conflicts before they grow, and strengthen your relationship even further.
Communication Skills
Building and strengthening communication skills is often a key component of couples therapy when struggles arise. But imagine how much more effective it would be to learn these skills before crisis comes!
We’re not always the best judges of our own communication strengths and weaknesses. Taking the time for couples therapy gives each of you the opportunity for input and feedback from a neutral third party.
Couples therapists are usually experts at helping people build healthy, effective communication skills. You’ll likely learn about active listening and how to avoid jumping to conclusions in couples therapy. When you practice these skills, you learn how to be respectful and mature even when disagreements arise.
In the long run, giving your communication skills a tuneup can really pay off. You’ll avoid misunderstandings and festering resentments in the years to come by building these skills during a time of relationship stability.
Renew Your Connection
Even when things are going well, it’s very easy for relationships to fall into routine. Before you realize it, you may wake up and find yourself feeling out of touch with your partner.
For example, the little things you once did together that meant so much may have become less and less frequent as life’s demands intruded. Or as your relationship matured, each of you may have become more and more involved in your own activities and interests.
This isn’t bad, but it can unintentionally cause you to grow apart from each other. Fortunately, couples therapy is a great way to restore and maintain this connection.
It gives you a chance to focus on each other and touch base with what’s really going on. It can help refresh your appreciation for each other and talk about the unique challenges you’re facing together at this stage of life. These can range from the stress of parenting to changes in sex drive as you age. Therapy offers an open place to talk through these issues before they become overwhelming.
Planning for the Future
Similar to premarital counseling, therapy during the good times can also help clear the dust from your relationship windshield and help you reevaluate your shared plans for the future. If you haven’t had kids but still hope to, therapy can help you identify a timeline and goals for that.
On the other hand, if your kids are nearing independence and you’re preparing for an empty nest, couples counseling can help you plan for this as well. If grandkids are on the way, therapy is a great opportunity to discuss dreams for this new role together.
***
Your relationship with your partner is one of the most important things in your life. Unfortunately, we often neglect these relationships until things get tough. Taking the time for regular upkeep and maintenance really helps your relationship go the extra mile.
If you’d like to learn more, please call my office. I’d be delighted to speak to you.
I’m Olja Haglund, a licensed master social worker (LMSW) and certified advanced alcohol and drug counselor (CAADC) in Grand Rapids, MI. I partner with clients to achieve specific goals, make changes, and develop coping skills that make life easier to live authentically.